What made you truly smile the last time you did smile?
I want you to pause, and just feel. Close your eyes and follow your breath inside your body, maybe picturing your breath reaching your heart. How does it feel? What is it that you need right now? Connecting with yourself it makes you human.
We are complex beings with emotions and rational thinking. We are so different and still so similar, we all strive for love and safety which are primordial for our survival.
Throughout your life you might have been encouraged to hide your vulnerabilities. You might have been told not to tell others how you feel, or maybe that you care. You might have been told to stop crying, because all these are weaknesses.
Very slowly, you have started to absorb and believe that suppressing your painful emotions, it is so powerful and it will keep you safe.
Reflecting back, I remember once I have been asked what was the reason I was so quiet during a meeting. My friend perceived that as a weakness from my side. Later on, it proved that silence is quite an art, and a massive skill in communication. How about your ability of not reacting? At times, being passive might have been considered a weakness because you were accepting those triggering circumstances. Can you see it turning into your ability of detaching yourself form a challenging situation, and giving yourself the chance to assess how to respond differently?
One of my clients has been told that worrying about how other people are feeling it is a weakness. I dare to ask if you can see it turning into empathy? Now, please reflect on the following scenarios:
• Recall a time when you spoke with a close friend about a really deep and personal experience. That is being vulnerable. Have you felt connected? That is your superpower
• Recall a time when you had a hard day at work or at school, and once you got home to your safe space you started crying. That is sadness, and this emotion allows you to show that you care, you care about yourself and you care about others. That is your superpower
In moderation, all the things you consider weaknesses can be your superpowers. Getting to know and understand yourself enhances your self-esteem and self-confidence as well as your capacity to find pleasure in little things that in the past were bringing you sorrow. Just imagine how much more you will become.
Diana Dan MBPsS GQHP TAP dip. is a professionally trained and experienced Graduate Psychologist, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist, Life Coach and Learning & Development Consultant based in London Greenwich. Diana is part of the Superpow! portfolio of therapists.